Dear Santa,

(This is a cute email that my friend forwarded to me - thought I would share it with those who might appreciate it most!)

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom.

I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's offices, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.


I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.

Yours Always, MOM...!

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

((Something to Write About During a Dry Spell))

As gifts for our respective 30th birthdays, Andy and I received pamphlets that note significant (and not so significant) information from the year of our birth. Many of my friends out there are turning the same corner, and so what the hey, I felt like sharing some of these factual and extremely random tidbits of information.

In 1976, the cost of a new home ran you approximately $44,000. Top your purchase off with a brand new car for just under $5k, and you've successfully set up shop in the year of the bicentennial for under $50,000.

Your automotive selection would no doubt exclude the convertible, as production was halted due to a lack in sales. Should you run short on change for any one of the aforementioned luxuries, knocking off a bank (or worse) could once again cost you your life, as this was the year the Supreme Court voted to reinstate the death penalty.

"Gone With the Wind" is televised for the first time, but if one decided to go out, $2.00 was all it took to get into the silver screen premier of Rocky (that's Rocky I, folks...) The Pittsburg Steelers celebrated a pro football championship and on another ball field, Cubs centerfielder Rick Monday filled fans with patriotic pride as he rescued the United States flag from a set of ballpark activists.

Former Georgia Governor Jimmy Carter defeated Gerald Ford to become the next President, and Tawny Godin of New York was awarded Miss America's crown. In New Orleans, a Saints quarterback announced the birth of his son, Peyton Manning, and a set of guys out of California founded a little company named Apple.